The Hard Road Taken
by glintwarsgreatest
Summary: Modern Day AU. Separated from Peeta, Katniss fights to make her way back to him and rebuild their broken lives. Rated M for adult themes, underage sex, and some language.
1. Prologue

**This story is an idea I've been toying with for a while. It's AU, and a tad OOC. It's my first AU and I hope it's somewhat enjoyable, and constructive criticism would be appreciated. Also, I may be in need of a beta, so if anyone is interested please let me know. The first part of this story is technically a prologue, and it's very long. I would have split it into multiple chapters but I decided to just add breaks instead. The italics are a little intro before delving into the history of what has happened in Katniss' life. I apologize for any errors in grammar or typing I may have missed. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading.**

* * *

_The sound of snoring permeates from all around her, but she stays awake, too nervous for sleep. In her hand she holds her redemption, in the form of a two and a half year old photograph, a letter, and an address. She clings to these three things, fearing that if she sets them down she'll lose them, and she has already lost too much._

_Across from where she sits, her sister stirs, the lurch of the train they are on jarring her from her slumber. She gives a half smile to the blonde girl._

_"Morning sleepyhead" She playfully whispers._

_"Morning. Did you sleep any?" She shakes her head no, knowing what will come next out of her sister's mouth._

_"Katniss it will be fine. Everything's going to be okay now." Katniss sighs and looks to the pieces of paper she holds in her hands._

_"I hope you're right Prim." She pauses, and seeing the look of concern in the blue eyes across from her she adds; "Once this is over I'll be able to relax. I promise."_

_Prim smiles a small smile, and as the train comes to a stop, she reaches across the space in between them to grab Katniss's free hand._

_"Once this is over, your life can really begin."_

* * *

She had been 14 the year her father had died, the year everything collectively went to shit. Her life had been a happy one, until one night, suddenly, it wasn't. A drunk driver ran a red light and turned her entire world upside down. Her mother had (for lack of a better term) gone crazy as a result of her father's death. It had begun slowly at first, with crippling depression, causing the loss of her job. So, in order to feed her family, Katniss had taken a job bagging groceries at the local supermarket. Between school and a full time job Katniss was exhausted, but she managed to keep everyone fed and the bills not covered by her Father's life insurance paid. Besides Prim, the only bright spot in her life had been her best friend since childhood, Peeta Mellark.

Katniss and Peeta had grown up together, and knew everything about each other as a result. It hadn't been until a few months after her father died, when she had been feeling so empty, so alone and so unwanted that Katniss had realized what Peeta could be for her, as well as what he already was. He was her hope. He was the dandelion in the spring after a long winter, he was the only person who could make her feel alive again, make her feel not so empty.

When she had first acted on her feelings, Peeta had been tentative, and she was afraid – so afraid – he would reject her. Instead, he confessed his love for her, and told her that if she was serious about this – about them – he would be anything and everything she could ever want and need. She had laughed at his declaration, and told him that's what he had always been to her – everything – and for the rest of her life she knew she would never forget the smile that had enveloped his face at her words. They were young for such serious declarations, but life had made the two of them much older and wiser and jaded than any two 15 year olds deserved to be.

It had taken a few months for them to become physical with each other, but their relationship and their love held so much passion that it was a natural progression. It was around that time – when things had finally started to get better – that her mother got worse.

Ever since her father's death, Katniss and her mother barely communicated outside of necessity. Her mother wasn't the one putting food on the table, wasn't the one checking Prim's homework, cleaning the house or taking care of Prim when she was sick – it was all left to Katniss. It wasn't that she minded taking care of Prim, she truly would do anything for her younger sister, it was that she resented Prim having to grow up father _and _mother- less. She hated Caroline Everdeen for that, and had no need for her because of it.

So when her mother began appearing downstairs again more and more, instead of being elated like Prim, Katniss was wary. Her mother would sit watching, never helping, as Prim and Katniss went about their days. Her eyes were soft as she watched Prim, but hard when she watched Katniss, and pure anger radiated from them when she watched Katniss and Peeta together. Katniss knew her mother could sense the change in she and Peeta's relationship, even though they kept everything to a minimum under her mother's glare, but to be truthful she didn't care what her mother thought of them. It wasn't until a warm spring night in April that Katniss wished she had kept her relationship with Peeta a secret from her Mother.

* * *

Prim was away at a sleep over, her mother upstairs all day, and Katniss and Peeta had just finished dinner. They had only been intimate a few times, and Katniss had noticed how much she had begun to crave his touch. The air that hung between them that night was heavy, filled with anticipation, every touch electrifying, and Katniss knew he wanted her as badly as she wanted him. Taking his hand, she had led him to her room (which thankfully was downstairs), and closed the door behind them before kissing him in a way she couldn't imagine kissing anyone else. Peeta slid his hands down her backside, kissing her back and matching her passion, before picking her up and carrying her to the bed. They were still learning each other's bodies, where to touch, where to kiss, but they fit together so well, and being clumsy in sex is to be expected when you're just starting out. All Katniss knew was that when Peeta was moving inside of her, his eyes looking into hers, nothing else in the world mattered. She felt whole, she felt loved, and she knew it was the same for him.

After, when they lay together naked, and intertwined beneath the sheets, Peeta murmuring things to her that made her blush; Katniss could feel a shift in the outside world. Something wasn't right. She lay for a moment, trying to decipher the change in atmosphere, when the door to her bedroom flew open, interrupting the tranquil peace behind it. Her mother stood in the doorway, half – crazed, eyes wild, rage rolling off of her, vicious words spewing out of her mouth. Katniss had never seen her mother like this, didn't know what to even make of it, and she was shocked into silence. It wasn't until she felt Peeta dressing her (she hadn't even realized she was out of bed) and carrying her out of the room that she snapped out of her shocked and hazy state. As Peeta led her out of the house she could hear her mother, throwing glasses and screaming things like "Fucking whore" along with other awful obscenities. Caroline Everdeen had snapped.

The following week had been icy around the house, Katniss and her mother spitting hateful words to each other, Prim hiding in her room, and Katniss rarely getting to see Peeta except at school.

"I wish she would go back to the way she was before, as pathetic as she was." Katniss said to Peeta one night after they had made love. "I honestly don't know which is worse, this hate fueled monster or the lifeless sack she was before it."

Peeta kissed her forehead, and tightened his grip around her.

"You'll just have to endure it. You're the strongest person I know and she's just trying to break you with her words, but when you turn 18, you, me, and Prim will get away from her. I promise."

Katniss smiled into his chest, because once again Peeta was filling her with hope and promises she knew he would keep. She had left him the next morning happy and full of thoughts of a better future, but it wasn't meant to be.

When Katniss arrived at her house to see men in uniforms packing boxes into a moving truck, she had initially been confused. That was, until she saw her mother, standing smug and cross armed in the driveway. It was then Katniss understood. Caroline and Katniss had never had a great relationship, never understood each other, and after her father's death it had grown into pure hatred; and if Caroline's happiness had been stripped from her, then no one else could have any either.

* * *

Katniss sat in the car later, unsure of where they were going, but fully and completely aware of what was being left behind. It wasn't until two months later – living on the other side of the country, home schooled by her mother, and in near complete isolation, that Katniss had a reason to smile, a reason to be happy. Once again (albeit unknowingly) Peeta had given Katniss reason to fight and hope for a better future. She knew she could get Prim and herself out of their new hellish existence and back where they belonged, and it was because of Peeta that her fight was reignited. Because even on the other side of the country, with no way to contact him, she knew he loved her. Because sometimes a love like that is all you need. But the biggest reason she had - the one that filled her simultaneously with longing, rage, fear, passion, love and hope – was that she was pregnant.

She was pregnant with Peeta's baby.


	2. Chapter 1

**Hey all. I'm slightly overwhelmed at the amount of views this story had in such a short amount of time, as well as the amount of you who put me on your story alerts. As a thank you I figured the best thing for me to do would be to update as quickly as possible. I have a good amount of this story written already, and will try to update as frequently as I can. I work full time so during the week once I am unable to write the updates may be slow but I promise to try my hardest. Thank you so much!**

* * *

_The day Katniss turned 18 and inherited the trust fund her Grandma Sae had left her, she packed up all of her belongings, hired a lawyer, and filed to be Prim's legal guardian. Her mother was deemed mentally unfit and eventually confined to a home after a short and succinct court appearance. Katniss had befriended a social worker during her pregnancy who had helped her set the wheels of the process in motion, allowing her to act the moment she was legally recognized as an adult. Katniss owed Haymitch Abernathy her's, her sister's and her daughter's lives. As they had prepared to board the train taking them to the town they had been so suddenly ripped from, Haymitch had stopped Katniss, pressing a piece of paper into her hands._

_"The address you asked for." He told her gruffly, trying to hide the moistness collecting in his eyes. Katniss handed the baby to Prim, and threw her arms around the older man's shoulders._

_"I will never forget everything you did for us. Thank you." She whispered into his ear, not wanting to embarrass him with her emotional words. Haymitch cleared his throat, and when she released him he tried to scowl at her._

_"Yeah well you were so pathetic how could I not?" Katniss laughed, promised to call him once they were settled, and boarded the train, looking back to see him wipe a tear off his face._

That had been two days and two trains ago. Now, sitting surrounded by bags outside the train station waiting for their car, Katniss longed to hear Haymitch's gruff voice. She knew he would tell her to suck it up, and do what she came to do, but she was nervous and wanted to hear it from him instead of in her mind. She looked over next to her, watching as her sister lovingly braided her daughter's hair that looked so much like her own. When Prim announced she was finished, the little girl turned and looked at Katniss with her father's blue eyes.

"Pretty Mommy?" the child asked, and Katniss' heart swelled. She reached out and took her daughter in her arms and kissed her forehead.

"Yes Audrey. So, so pretty."

The girl smiled before nestling herself into Katniss, and Katniss held her close, resting her chin on her full head of hair. At 2 years old, Audrey was beginning to become her own person, and a lot of Peeta was evident in her personality. Her ability to make friends easily, her love of beautiful things, and to everyone's surprise (except Katniss), her way with words – be it as limited as it was. Like Katniss, Audrey was stubborn and protective, watchful, with a mind of her own, and she loved selectively as well as fiercely. Katniss couldn't imagine a better blend between she and Peeta, though truth be told she could do without the stubbornness. Katniss had never really wanted children, and being a mother at 16 wasn't ideal, but then again, Katniss was more mature at 16 then most are at 30, and now that she had her, Katniss knew life without Audrey would be hollow.

* * *

Later that afternoon, as they sat in the 3 bedroom apartment Haymitch had helped her secure, Katniss, Prim, and Audrey ate a simple dinner. They had unpacked earlier, the boxes Katniss had sent ahead of them awaiting their arrival, and set up their new home. Katniss had laughed when Audrey had told her that she was a big girl and could unpack all by herself, and watched as the toddler went about decorating her room with stuffed animals.

Now it was six o clock in the evening, and Katniss felt Prim's eyes on her as she finished putting away towels in the new linen closet. She took her time, trying to avoid the oncoming conversation with her 14 year old sister, but when the last towel was placed, Prim pounced.

"It's time to go Katniss. I know you and if you don't do it now you'll keep putting it off."

Katniss scowled at Prim, who only rolled her eyes in return.

"Please Katniss. Just do it so you can stop freaking out about it. I can take care of Audrey for a few hours."

Katniss sighed, and knew there was no reason to fight Prim. She always won. Prim smirked, realizing her victory, and a few minutes later after Katniss had kissed Audrey goodbye, Prim practically pushed her out the door.

Once she was in the awaiting cab Prim had apparently called for, Katniss pulled out the address Haymitch had given to her two days ago.

"1717 Victory Way please."

As the cab took off, Katniss settled in for the ride. The city had grown since she had been here last, and she wasn't familiar with Victory Way except in passing. It wasn't until the cab arrived and the driver spoke that Katniss realized where Haymitch had sent her – to a place she couldn't run from what she had to do.

"Here you are miss, 1717 Victory Way. Mellark's Bakery."

* * *

Katniss paid the driver and stepped out of the cab in a daze. This is not where the bakery used to be. Clutching the letter and the photo in her hand, she stood stock still outside of the bakery door, frozen.

"I am going to fucking kill Haymitch." She muttered under her breath.

She had wanted to do this in private, at his house, where no one could see. She stood at the door staring at the handle for what felt like hours, before turning around in hopes of finding a bench where she could sit and collect herself. She hadn't made it six steps when she heard the door open, followed by a voice she had only heard in memories and dreams for almost three years.

"Katniss?"

His voice was just how he remembered it, maybe a tad deeper, and she felt tears begin to well in her eyes at the sound. She slowly turned around, and laid her eyes on him for the first time in too long.

"Peeta." She choked out, fighting back her tears, taking in the sight of him, the disbelief on his face evident. In two strides he was in front of her, and she couldn't' believe how much taller, how much more of a man he was.

"Holy shit Katniss. You're home. I never thought I would see you again, but you're here."

His voice was thick with emotion, and she nodded, afraid that if she spoke she would blurt out everything, and this was something she had to do the right way. She took a deep breath to steady herself before finally speaking, in what she hoped was an even voice.

"It took me longer than I wanted but yes. I'm finally back."

Peeta reached out then, touching her cheek softly before clearing his throat and quickly withdrawing his hand.

"Sorry. I've just thought about this a lot. I wanted to make sure it was real."

Katniss smiled softly, and reached out to touch his forearm.

"It's real Peeta. I'm back. And if you can, if you have the time I mean, I was wondering if we could talk? If you want." She added the last part quickly, giving him an out if he wanted but Peeta nodded his head.

"Yeah I'd love to. Come on." He jerked his head to the Bakery behind him, and she followed as he led the way inside.

* * *

In the back room, Peeta pulled up two chairs, one for her and one for himself, and the air was full of nervousness and unease. Once she was seated, Katniss folded her arms around herself and sucked in a deep breath, considering how to begin such an important conversation, but Peeta beat her to it.

"Not to be abrupt Katniss, but what the hell happened?"

His words weren't angry like she was expecting, but broken and lost, and without a second thought or a moment's hesitation she told him what had happened the morning she had left him in bed. He sat quietly through her story, and when she paused in order to gather the courage necessary to tell him the most important part, he interrupted her.

"Did you at least try to write, or call?" He asked, his eyes full of tears, the pain in them searing down into her soul.

"I swear to God Peeta, I did. But every time my mother caught me writing a letter, or trying to get to a phone, she would stop me, and then she would take it out on Prim. But I did. I tried so hard. I didn't want you to hate me, to think I could just leave you, or that I didn't love you. So I found my way back to you."

She watched Peeta take in her words, running his hands through his hair before speaking.

"I never thought you didn't love me. Your neighbors told me you have moved that day with no warning, and no one knew where you had gone. How did you…. Does your mother know you're here?"

Katniss let out a bitter laugh at his question, and she launched into what had unfolded allowing her the freedom from her mother she had so desperately desired, leaving out details that he wouldn't understand as of yet. When she finished, she watched him digest the information before he tentatively reached out for her hand. Her eyes met his for a long moment.

"All that so you could make it back to me? It's a good thing I never gave up on you Katniss Everdeen." He said smiling at her and she felt a blush creep up her cheeks. She felt immense relief at his words, happy to know that he never gave up, and she hoped for a moment he still wanted her.

"So it's just you and Prim then?" He asked, and with is question Katniss felt her eyes begin to prick with tears.

She pulled the picture out of her purse, and she removed her hand from his to brush his hair out of his face before speaking.

"Yes Prim is here too. But Peeta, there is more to this story, and I'm so sorry. Sorry for what my mother did, and how she took me from you, and kept me from you, and away from you, because it hurt you. Please know that I never wanted that to happen, because I love you, I still love you, and the idea of seeing you again, it's kept me going." Peeta reached out and dried the tears trickling down her face, before tilting her chin with his finger to meet her eyes.

"You're here now. I still love you too. I have since I was 5 Katniss. I could never love anyone else. There's never been anyone else, and there never will be."

Katniss smiled softly, knowing what she was about to tell him would invalidate his last sentence completely.

"Peeta, what my mother did, keeping me isolated, away from you, unable to even write you – it wasn't just me she was keeping away from you." Confusion flooded Peeta's eyes at her words.

"Prim?" he asked, obviously trying to understand what she was saying. Katniss shook her head, and took his hand.

"Two months after we moved, I started getting sick, and I felt off, so my mother hauled me to the doctor. Peeta –" Katniss paused, taking the photo and pressing it into his hand. His eyes widened at the picture of a newborn Audrey, eyes blue, and undeniably like his. "- when she took Prim and I away, I was already a month pregnant, and on December 7th, your daughter – our daughter, was born. You don't know how badly I wish I could have told you, how badly I wish you could have been there. But this – " she set the thick envelope in his lap, "- is every thought, every date of every first smile, first laugh, first step. I have 2 years worth of letters like this at home. I know it's not enough, but it's all I had."

Katniss stopped speaking, her voice shaky with emotion, waiting for him to respond.

"What's her name?" Peeta asked, not lifting his gaze from the picture, his voice barely audible.

"Audrey Hope Mellark. Her birth certificate says Everdeen, but I've always told her that her last name is Mellark. I hope that's okay."

Peeta tore his gaze from this photo, tears streaming down his face, his eyes shining.

"Yeah Katniss. That's okay. Can I….. can I meet her?"

Katniss broke into a grin, tears streaming down her own face, before she stood up and offered him her hand.

"She's with Prim at home. Come with me?"

Peeta took her hand, squeezing it, excitement and emotion radiating off of him.

"Katniss I'm never letting you go anywhere without me ever again."


	3. Chapter 2

**Let me start this author's note by saying: wow. The amount of you who have favorited/added this story to your alerts is not something I expected. I have been writing my entire life and almost never let anyone read what I write, so the fact that people actually want to read this is absolutely humbling. Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed, the words of encouragement and excitement are deeply appreciated.**

**Honestly this story is really fun for me to write, and I can say that at this point I don't know how long it will be, but I have at least 20 pages written and I am still going ,so hopefully it is interesting throughout. I am also considered doing a few "spin off" fics based around this one, maybe one made up entirely of the letters Katniss wrote for Peeta concerning Audrey's first two years, so if that interests anyone let me know.**

**And finally: I know that Katniss' mother is exceedingly OOC in this AU, but I think eventually she will seem more familiar in terms of character. She won't reappear until much later, but I decided to take what Susan Collins did with her mental illness and go to extremes.**

**Now: Enjoy Chapter 2! And for those of you who have reviewed/will review, I will work on a little preview to send you of what is to come!**

* * *

On the cab ride from the bakery to her new apartment, Peeta asked Katniss question after question about their daughter, and Katniss happily answered, a smile plastered to her face. (Her favorite color? Orange, just like her father's.) It wasn't until they reached the door marked 3B that he fell silent. As Katniss turned her key in the lock, Peeta's hand reached out to cover hers.

"Katniss wait." He begged her, his voice stained. For a moment fear flooded Katniss. Did he not want this? She had had almost 3 years to build up anticipation towards this moment, to prepare herself; Peeta had only had 30 minutes. But no: there may be three lost years between them, but he was still the same Peeeta. Shaking the thought from her mind, Katniss turned to him.

"What if she doesn't like me?" His eyes were nervous and his hands shaking, causing Katniss to reach out and still them with her own.

"She knows who you are Peeta. She already loves you." Katniss kissed his knuckles, and then opened the door, leading him inside.

Prim was seated on the couch reading, and looked up to greet them, a smile on her face.

"Peeta! It's so good to see you!" Katniss smiled at her sister's enthusiasm.

"Prim. Wow you look so grown up." Peeta replied, but Katniss could hear the distraction and nervousness in his voice.

"Yeah, a lot can happen in three years." Prim joked, before standing up from the couch. "Well… I'm going to bed." As Prim walked towards her room, Katniss motioned towards her sister's now vacant seat, to indicate to Peeta he should sit.

"Have a seat Peeta. I'll go wake Audrey." Katniss saw Peeta swallow hard, taking his place on the couch, hands spread out on his knees. She returned a few minutes later, a sleepy Audrey curled in her arms clinging to her chest. She heard Peeta's breath catch, and she moved to kneel in front of where he was seated on the couch.

"Audrey baby? I know you're tired, but there's someone I want you to meet." Audrey mumbled something into Katniss' shoulder, before finally turning her head to look at Peeta.

"Do you know who this is?" Katniss asked her daughter softly. Audrey quickly nodded her head yes, and Peeta's entire face was instantly lit in a grin. Audrey smiled back, and pointed at the man in front of her.

"Daddy?" Audrey questioned, and Katniss swore she could feel her own heart practically beating out of her chest.

"Yes baby girl, that's your Daddy." Ever so slowly, Peeta reached out to touch the girl's – his daughter's – arm, smiling shyly at her as he spoke.

"Hey there Audrey. It's nice to meet you." Suddenly shy, Audrey turned into Katniss' chest, smiling at Peeta through a sheath of her own hair, eliciting a bemused chuckle from both Peeta and Katniss. Standing with Audrey sill in her arms, Katniss seated herself next to Peeta. Audrey tugged on Katniss' braid, and Katniss leaned forward, bringing her ear to her daughter's mouth. Audrey whispered to Katniss, and she laughed at her daughter's question before turning to Peeta.

"Audrey would like to know if she can sit in your lap." Katniss smiled and Peeta beamed at her, holding his arms out to the little girl who eagerly climbed into his lap. Placing herself so she was facing him, she reached a hand to his face, hovering near it, before turning to Katniss. Katniss felt her breath catch in her throat, praying her daughter – their daughter – could sense the importance of this moment. She nodded encouragingly at Audrey, and the little girl turned back to Peeta, placing her outreached hand on his cheek. For a moment Katniss was sure no one was breathing, waiting to see what would happen next. After a few moments of silent contemplation of Peeta, Audrey cocked her head to the side before smiling a brilliant smile.

"Daddy." She stated simply, before pulling herself up and placing her arms around his neck, to hug him. Katniss watched as Peeta placed his arms around their daughter's small frame, and buried his face in her hair, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Yep Audrey," Katniss heard Peeta say, his voice thick with emotion, "I'm your Daddy."

* * *

Audrey had fallen asleep soon after the emotional meeting. Katniss laid her in her bed, placing a kiss to her forehead as Peeta watched from the doorway. Once her door was closed, Katniss led Peeta to the kitchen and quickly made two hot cups of tea before they sat down across from each other at the kitchen table. After a few minutes of silence Peeta finally spoke.

"What happens now Katniss?" he asked, and Katniss carefully set her cup down, giving herself a moment to answer. She took a deep breath, and raised her gaze to his before speaking.

"I know it's a lot Peeta. And I know it's life changing. I don't want to ask you to do something you're not comfortable with, but I want you to know her. I want her to know you. Not just from the pictures and the stories I've been telling her for two years, since before she could understand what I was telling her; but I want her to have you in her life. That's why I came back here as soon as I possibly could, because no matter how hard I try I am not enough for her. She needs someone as strong and caring and loving as you." Katniss took a deep breath, and clasped her hands together, turning her eyes towards them before continuing, hoping he couldn't hear the shake in her voice.

"I try to be the best I can for her, but I'm afraid that sometimes I'm too cold, and too distant. But I understand if you're not ready or if you want some time to think about where we…. Where she will fit in your life. If you want her there that is."

As she finally finished speaking, Katniss heard Peeta's chair scrape back as he stood, her gaze never shifting from her hands. It wasn't until he kneeled beside her and covered both her hands with one of his that she looked at him.

"Katniss. I fell in love with you when we were five years old, holding out hope as we grew up that one day you would love me, and we would get married and have a family. And finally after ten years, you did love me, and I knew it would happen, I knew all my dreams would come true. But then, you were gone, taken away from me. And for almost three years I loved a ghost. I can't tell you how many scenarios I dreamed up – that I would find you or you would come back to me. I was so afraid I would never see you again." Peeta shifted slightly, before turning Katniss in her chair so she was facing him as he kneeled. She could feel tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she wondered about what he would say next. Had he finally given up hope? Moved on? Did he not love her anymore? Did he not want Audrey? As Katniss sat fighting off tears and fearing the worst, Peeta took her hands and continued.

"When I saw you outside the bakery today, I thought I was hallucinating. I almost didn't believe it was you, and I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. For three years everyone told me that you were never coming back. That you didn't love me. But I knew. I knew they were wrong. I never needed proof, I just knew, but that little girl… our daughter – is more than just proof. What your mother did, she didn't just steal three years from you and me, she stole two years from me and my child." Peeta spit out his last sentence and Katniss leaned forward placing her forehead against his. She could feel her heart breaking under the weight of his pain, and what had been taken from him, all while he had no idea.

"I'm so sorry Peeta. God I'm so sorry." She whispered, no longer fighting against the tears and emotion welling up inside of her.

"It wasn't your fault Katniss. And what you had to do, what you had to go through alone….." Peeta paused, and pulled back from Katniss, bringing his hands to either side of her face. "The first time I saw you, I knew. I was a goner. There's never been anyone or anything else I've ever loved more than you. Until you put that photo in my hand tonight. The moment I saw it I knew – for the second time in my entire life – I was a goner. I've never wanted to know someone as badly as I want to know our daughter. I swear. You don't have to do this alone anymore."

When Peeta fell silent, Katniss placed one of her own hands over one of his, still on her cheek. She turned into his hand and gently kissed his palm, and for the first time in years she felt at peace.


	4. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the favorites and story alerts! If you have any tips for me feel free to PM me! (Short AN this time since the last one was so long but there is a quick thing at the end as well.)**

* * *

Katniss woke early the next morning, and after a few moments of confusion remembered she was in her new apartment, in her new life. As her initial confusion faded away, she was met with more as she heard the sound of someone stirring next to her. Looking over to her left she took in Peeta's sleeping form. They were both fully clothed, neither one of them under the covers, and Katniss smiled to herself realizing they had fallen asleep talking. She didn't know what their relationship was now, if they would slip back to where they had been or if they would have to being again, but for the first time in a long time, Katniss felt like herself. She felt complete having her best friend back in her life.

The sound of a loud "thump" in the next room jarred her from her daydream and Katniss sighed knowing it was time to start the day. Moving carefully as to not wake Peeta, she got out of bed, quickly changing into some old sweats and leaving the room. Closing the door quietly, Katniss walked to Audrey's room, briefly wondering what she would find inside. She opened the door quietly, and took in the scene playing out in front of her.

Apparently Audrey had been busy this morning. All the boxes in the little girl's room that had yet to be unpacked lay open, their contents spilling out onto the floor. Audrey had her head buried in one of the turned over boxes, and Katniss folded her arms, eyebrows furrowed as she watched her two year old throwing the unsatisfactory contents of the box behind her, unaware she was being watched.

"Audrey Hope Mellark what exactly do you think you're doing?" The little girl froze at the sound of Katniss' voice, and Katniss hoped her tone had been firm rather than amused. Audrey slowly removed herself from the box and sheepishly smiled at Katniss.

"Mornin' Mama."

Katniss unsuccessfully tried to fight a smile, and crossed the room to kneel in front of Audrey. She reached out and pulled a piece of fuzz out of Audrey's hair before smoothing it back.

"Good morning baby girl. Now tell me what you're doing." Audrey nodded at Katniss and pointed at the mess she had created.

"Want the book Mama. My special book!" Katniss sighed and picked her daughter up setting her on her bed.

"I know where your book is. I know you want it, and I'll get it but you can't make messes like this. You should have asked me or Aunt Prim first ok?" Audrey huffed a little at Katniss' words and crossed her little arms over her chest.

"I can do it."

Katniss groaned and rolled her eyes. Sometimes Audrey could be her carbon copy.

" I know you're a big girl but you made a huge mess, which is bad." Audrey wilted at the word bad and cast her eyes downward.

"Sorry." She mumbled and Katniss leaned over to kiss the top of her head.

"It's ok. Thank you for saying sorry. Sit on the bed and I'll get your book." With that, Audrey's face lit up and she smiled in anticipation. Katniss walked over to the box marked "Books" that lay untouched in the corner.

"If only two year olds could read." She thought to herself as she rifled through the box, looking for Audrey's favorite book. She finally found it near the bottom, it's cover torn and frayed, the words "Goodnight Moon" affirming this was the book she was searching for. As she lifted it out of the box a book underneath it was revealed and Katniss was quick to pick it up as well. A pink scrapbook started by Prim before Audrey was born, Katniss set it on the dresser top before handing Audrey the book she had wrecked her room looking for. Picking Audrey up off the bed Katniss walked out into the living room, and set her down on her new play mat before making her way into the kitchen. The mats location allowed Katniss to keep an eye on Audrey – who had a knack for getting in trouble – while she went about preparing coffee. Prim joined her a few minutes later, pouting when Katniss wouldn't let her have any coffee but agreeing to keep an eye on Audrey so Katniss could tidy up the mess the toddler had made in her room.

As Katniss set about cleaning Audrey's room, unpacking some things and repacking others, she found herself constantly looking towards the scrap book she had set down earlier. Once the room was clean she could no longer resist its pull, and picking it up off the dresser she sat down on the bed. She remembered the day Prim had presented the book to her vividly, a few years ago while she had still been pregnant with Audrey.

Pregnancy hadn't been particularly easy for Katniss. She was 15, locked away from everything, and except for Prim she was utterly alone. Her mother had stopped speaking to her (except to yell at her) the day Katniss refused to "get rid of the damn thing" and Katniss was lucky the local doctor Hazelle had been sympathetic to her situation, showing up at their secluded home to check up on her during the pregnancy.

One night, after a particularly bad fight with her mother concerning the unborn child growing inside of her, Katniss lay in bed, crying, on the edge of a full break down. Prim had quietly joined Katniss in bed, setting the book down in between them. Katniss looked at Prim questioningly, until Prim explained.

"I know you miss Peeta Katniss. One day you'll see him again, you have to. And I made this so you could put pictures and things of the baby in here for him. So he can see and so you can remember that you have to show it to him one day."

Katniss reached out and traced a finger over the pink frilled cover, inwardly smiling at how much Peeta would have hated the color scheme, before sitting up and hugging her sister.

"Thank you Prim." Katniss whispered softly to herself.

"For what?" Katniss was startled out of her memory by a confused looking Prim leaning against the door frame. When her eyes spotted the book in Katniss' hands however she understood and smiled.

"So you'll never guess who just walked out of your room wearing the same clothes he was in last night." Prim grinned at Katniss, and Katniss scowled at her younger sister, standing up and exiting the room.

"Watch it little duck." She said playfully to Prim as they walked out to the kitchen where Peeta was standing clutching a cup of coffee.

"Hey." Katniss said softly to Peeta, moving her hand to brush hair out of his eyes.

"Hey back." Peeta said, and Katniss could feel her stomach clench at the sight of his blue eyes in the morning light. They stood looking at each other for a moment before a small but insistent tugging on her pant leg caused Katniss to look away. Katniss found herself looking down and into another pair of brilliant blue eyes as Audrey beamed up at her. Leaning over she scooped Audrey up, holding her to her hip, and Audrey wrapped her legs around Katniss' waist.

"Can you say good morning Audrey?" Audrey nodded at Katniss' question, and turned her attention to Peeta.

"Morning!" Katniss watched Peeta's face break into a grin and felt one pull on her own lips. She felt so relieved that Audrey had seemingly accepted Peeta without any hesitation, especially since the girl could be so guarded.

"Good morning Audrey." Peeta replied enthusiastically, reaching forward to playfully tussle her hair. Audrey giggled and began to squirm in Katniss' arms, signaling she wanted to be on the ground. As soon as she was free, Audrey took off and Katniss' eyes followed her in amusement. When Audrey had returned to her play mat cheerfully pretending she knew how to read, Katniss was reminded of the book she had set down on the counter when she had walked into the kitchen.

"Peeta." He was intently watching Audrey and when she said his name, turned to face her. "I have something I want to show you. Let's go to the couch." Peeta nodded and followed Katniss as she clutched the book to her chest making her way into the living room. Once she was seated she called out to Audrey to come and join them. Audrey wormed her way up the couch settling in Katniss' lap.

"When I was pregnant with this little one here" Katniss playfully tickled Audrey's side as she talked, "Prim made me this book, so I could put pictures and things to show you one day." She opened the book and felt Peeta tense beside her. The first page was full of pictures of Katniss while she was pregnant, at various stages. Prim had been obsessive about taking the photos, even when Katniss didn't want her to, so in a good many she was scowling.

Peeta let out a gasp and Katniss quickly felt embarrassed by the photos.

"I know, I was huge." Peeta shook his head vigorously reaching out the trace a finger over one of the photos.

"No Katniss, you were beautiful." Katniss smiled at his words, and turned the page, pointing to a sonogram.

"This is Audrey when I was around my 8th month. You would kick me all day and night you little bug." Katniss said playfully to Audrey carefully jostling her arm, causing her to break into a fit of giggles, before pointing at the picture next to the sonogram.

"Me!" Audrey exclaimed and Katniss laughed.

"Yes. That's right." The photo was of an exhausted but smiling Katniss, laying in a hospital bed, her eyes looking at the new pink baby nestled in her arms. Turning her attention to Peeta she heard herself talking, the words flowing easily from her. "One night I was making dinner for Prim and I, and all of a sudden my water broke. I of course started freaking out and since Mom was in town Prim ran next door to the neighbors begging them to take me to the hospital. You should have seen the look on her face, like I was going to explode or something. I was in labor for 27 hours, and it was awful. I am pretty sure I screamed so many horrible awful things that the people in the hospital probably thought I was having an exorcism or something. But the second I heard her cry I don't know…. It was like all the pain in the entire world was worth it to hear that sound, to see her so tiny and perfect and pink wrapped up in a blanket. This picture was taken after she opened her eyes to me for the first time. I swear to God it made my heart drop to my toes, because her eyes were you. When she was little I would stare into them for hours because they are so like yours." When she was finished talking Peeta's eyes were somber and Audrey was looking hard at his eyes after listening to what Katniss had just said.

"Why are you sad?" The little girl asked Peeta, and he smiled at her softly, shaking his head.

"No Audrey. I'm happy. You are both so beautiful. You and your Momma." Katniss smiled, and felt tears rising in her own eyes. They sat on the couch together, going through the pictures of Audrey, Katniss telling stories, Audrey and Peeta both fascinated. It was the first morning they had spent as a "family" Katniss realized to herself, and she smiled as she hoped there would be many more.

* * *

**Ok so I know it's basically been a lot of emotional drama and it seems like it's moving slowly but soon enough there will be things happening. I just wanted to establish the first meeting and the emotional reconciliation between Katniss and Peeta before I got into the "fluff" so to speak. (And yes, there will be a sexual reconciliation between Katniss and Peeta. It won't happen right away though because I don't think that's necessarily realistic. Also writing it has been a pain in the ass because my boyfriend who proof reads this for me has been going all 50 Shades of Grey on me which has me a little worried but I digress….)**


	5. Chapter 4

**So… there's some smut in this chapter. I've never written a sex scene before but I tried my best to make it realistic descriptively so hopefully it's good. Read on and enjoy!**

* * *

Over the course of the next few weeks, Katniss and Peeta focused on building his relationship with Audrey. It wasn't always smooth sailing, ("She's a two year old Peeta, and she's as stubborn as they come." Katniss had told him one night when Audrey had refused to eat the bread he had baked her as a treat.), but Peeta filled his role as father and parent easily, and Katniss could tell Audrey adored him. The only major stumbling block the pair had initially faced had been Peeta's mother, who was skeptical at first about the situation, but the moment she met Audrey, Katniss watched the older woman soften. Now affectionately known as "Gamma" by Audrey, Mrs. Mellark had quickly fallen under her granddaughters spell, and not a single person who met Audrey could deny she was Peeta's. Sundays were now spent at the bakery, Katniss watching as Audrey was spoiled by Peeta's parents.

One Sunday afternoon in particular, while Audrey sat in Mrs. Mellark's lap coloring, Katniss couldn't help but watch as Peeta carried a bag of flour from the store room to the kitchen, and she felt her stomach flutter. Her reaction didn't go unnoticed.

"Katniss why don't you let me and Dan watch Audrey tonight?" Katniss turned to Mrs. Mellark, the confusion on her face apparent.

"The two of you-" Mrs. Mellark motioned towards her son, "need to talk. And spend some alone time." Katniss felt her face heat up, and she opened her mouth to respond before closing it again. Besides occasionally falling asleep talking and waking up unintentionally intertwined, Katniss and Peeta had yet to have any real physical contact. All the focus had been on Audrey. Katniss looked back at Peeta once more, and he smiled at her when he caught her gaze, causing Katniss' entire body to tingle in excitement.

"Okay. That does sound nice. Thank you." Mrs. Mellark smiled at Katniss, and looked down at Audrey.

"Don't worry Momma, we'll have a good time. Won't we Audrey?" Audrey smiled up at her Gamma, and the older woman placed a kiss on the top of her nose. Katniss smiled at the interaction, and knew Audrey would love the extra time with her beloved grandparents.

* * *

And hour later Katniss sat in her apartment, nervously anticipating Peeta's arrival. Prim was out tonight, having easily fallen back into her old group of friends, and had even dropped off a bag of things for Audrey at the Mellark's so Katniss could get ready. After almost 20 minutes of contemplation, Katniss had decided against dressing up in any particular way, and had instead chosen to shave her legs – just in case. Inwardly she felt like an idiot for even considering that she needed to shave her legs, she and Peeta had only shared a few kisses since her return, but she wanted to be on the safe side.

Peeta arrived promptly at 6, letting himself in. Katniss stood in the kitchen, and Peeta leaned back against the wall across from her, his arms folded and a smirk on his face.

Katniss found her eyes scoring over his black t-shirt to his blue jeans that hung just so on his hips, and her entire body felt like it was fire.

"So." She finally managed to speak. Peeta snorted at her obvious nervousness.

"So. My parents are watching Audrey tonight?" Kanitss nodded a yes to his question.

"Yeah. And Prim is staying with Rue." Peeta just nodded in return, and Katniss swore there was actual electricity buzzing in the air. She didn't want to speak anymore, afraid she would say what was actually on her mind.

"Do you want dinner?" Peeta asked, naturally breaking their silence, obviously trying to put her more at ease. Katniss knew that he would be happy to spend their first night alone in 3 years eating, talking and watching TV, and that knowledge caused something inside of her to snap.

"Honestly Peeta? We have three years of separation we need to make up for and we finally have this place to ourselves. I really don't think I could care any less about food right now."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Katniss watched as Peeta pushed himself off the wall and crossed the room in two strides. He grinned devilishly at her, and the next thing Katniss knew, she had been picked up by two strong arms and was being carried into the bedroom. Once inside, Peeta set Katniss down before backing her up against the closed door. His eyes were dark and it took all her will power to not jump him right in that moment. Instead she raised her fingers to his face, tracing his jaw, playing with the stubble that grew there.

"I've missed this. You." Peeta whispered, and Katniss moved her hand to his upper arm, enjoying the feel of the muscle. She then placed both of her hands against his chest.

"You're so much more manly now. So grown up." She whispered back, and his breathing became heavy as his eyes bore into hers.

"Katniss. I want to take this slow. I really do. I want to take my time with you. But it's been so long and you smell so fucking good….."

Katniss could feel the tension rolling off the both of them and knew she felt the same as he did. In fact if it wasn't for the fact that she hadn't done this in three years she would have been embarrassed by how wet she already was without any help from Peeta at all.

"We can make love later Peeta, but right now I don't really want slow." Katniss reached forward aggressively and undid Peeta's jeans, pushing them to the floor before removing her own, and pulling Peeta's hips flush against hers. Peeta moaned and thrust against her and Katniss threw her head back. She wasn't surprised that he was already _really _hard, and her legs twinged. They didn't need to spend anytime on foreplay right now. Not after three years. Peeta began grinding against Katniss, and she knew that if he kept on the way he was going they would both lose it before they ever even got out of their underwear.

"Peeta. Inside. Now." Katniss knew she sounded demanding, but it had been three years and all she had was the memory of what it felt like when he was inside of her. She didn't want the memory anymore. She wanted the real deal, and apparently he did too. Peeta quickly pulled off his boxers, before ripping the underwear Katniss was wearing clean off. He roughly kissed Katniss, and she scratched her fingernails down his back. He bit her lip-hard, and Katniss was about to break.

"For the love of fucking God Peeta!" Katniss was surprised at her words and how forceful they were, but they must have worked, because the next thing she knew Peeta lifted her up by the ass, her legs wrapped around his waist, and he thrust himself inside of her without anymore hesitation. Katniss threw her head back against the door and moaned loudly, digging her ankles into his back so she could get him in as deep as humanly possible. For a second she tried to remember if it had always felt this good, but all of a sudden Peeta being thrusting into her and she could only concentrate on how it made her entire body feel like it was on fire. They were moving so fast and Peeta was thrusting into her so hard the sound of skin slapping together registered in Katniss' mind. It was only moments later that the only sound she could make out was that of her own screams of Peeta's name. When he leaned in and bit her nipple through her shirt she threw a hand back against the door with so much force it actually hurt, and she felt her thighs begin to shake, the force of her orgasm rocking her entire body. Peeta followed closely after immediately shouting her name with enthusiasm before finally slowing to a stop. Pulling out of her Peeta carried Katniss to her bed, and once they were laying down she pulled herself into his side. They were both breathing heavily, and when Katniss realized they were both still half clothed she smiled into Peeta's chest.

"What's so funny?" he asked her, his breathing still labored.

"Nothing. Just – that was fantastic." She replied and Peeta grinned wickedly at her.

"Yeah. We've never done it like that before though." Katniss snorted in acknowledgment.

"No. It was never like that before. Usually we could hold off until we were both naked." She and Peeta laughed, before he turned silent. In a quick movement he rolled on top of her, and leaned down to bite her earlobe sending shivers down her spine.

"I'd be more than happy to get you out of that shirt Katniss."

And so he did.

* * *

**So it wasn't _that _smutty and I know it was quick, but if I was separated from my boyfriend for three years I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be romance and roses so I wrote what felt realistic to me. There will be more "smut" later but that's not really what this story is about, but it's a part of life so it will show up at times. I may be out of town this weekend so hopefully I can get an update out tomorrow but then it may be a few days. I suggest checking out Two Wrongs by JLaLa or Strung Up In the Air by DeathCabForBritney if you are looking for some fantastic AU's! I seriously can't get enough of those two stories. (But keep reading mine too!) **


	6. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, I'm glad you liked the last chapter! This one has some nice fluff but prepare yourselves – it's about to get kind of dark. Since I know I don't enjoy when people don't warn me beforehand I'm including a trigger warning right now: there is mention of attempted suicide in this chapter. It doesn't go into detail but it's mentioned.**

**Also, to those of you who have reviewed I finally have some time to send you something as a thank you, so be expecting that either tomorrow or Sunday!**

* * *

Over the next few months Katniss could hardly believe how good and full of joy her life had become. She and Peeta had initially tried to move their relationship along slowly – really they had tried – but a few weeks after their sexual reconciliation he had moved into the apartment, much to everyone's (especially Audrey's) delight. Prim had begun high school, and Katniss was happy to see how much her sister was enjoying herself. She had always known Prim was smart, and now finally free of their mother and her half-hearted home schooling, Prim had flourished.

Thanks to her inheritance and careful budgeting, Katniss was lucky to only need a part time job, and with the help of Peeta's father she had secured one giving archery lessons at a local hunting store. A skill taught to her by her father, she was happy to finally use it again, and she enjoyed the work. While she was away she missed her daughter, but knew how much both Audrey and Peeta treasured the alone time it gave them. While Katniss worked Peeta would take Audrey with him to the bakery, where the little girl would charm customers, ice cookies with Peeta's help, and play with her grandparents.

Peeta and Katniss had picked up almost right where they had left off, acting like horny teenagers (which technically at 18 they still were), taking every chance they had to be together. The only thing that had even remotely slowed them down was when Prim had requested a pair of soundproof headphones so she "could actually get some sleep at night". Katniss had blushed and Peeta had avoided eye contact with Prim for over a week, but they promised to be quieter.

And they got her the headphones. Just as a precaution.

* * *

On a cool November evening Katniss sat curled up on the couch, watching as Peeta galloped around the living room with Audrey on his back. She laughed as Audrey giggled and screamed, having the time of her life. Prim was at the library and Katniss sighed realizing it was time to pick her up. She reluctantly kissed Peeta and Audrey goodbye before going to the parking garage and leaving to get Prim.

Once inside the car Prim excitedly described the history project she had been working on, and Katniss grinned and nodded enthusiastically, happy to see Prim so animated. As they pulled into the parking garage, Prim launched into a story about what had happened at lunch that day, but Katniss' cell phone rang interrupting her.

Katniss picked up the phone and felt panic bubble through her chest at the familiar area code attached to the unknown number. She could feel Prim's eyes on her, and steeling herself she answered the phone.

"Hello?" She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, afraid of who would respond.

"Yes, Katniss Everdeen?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

"This is she."

"Hello Miss Everdeen. My name is Effie Trinkett. Do you have a moment?" Katniss sighed.

"Yes Miss Trinkett, I have a moment."

"Good. I'm afraid I have some bad news dear. I'm a nurse at Clearside Mental health, and I'm so sorry to tell you this – especially over the phone – but I'm afraid that last night your mother Caroline tried to take her life."

Katniss felt the blood drain from her face and tried to keep collected in front of Prim's watchful eyes.

"Oh. Is everything alright?"

"No dear, I'm afraid it's not. Your mother is alive and stable, but she is in intensive care and has mentally shut down. She is refusing to cooperate, and since you are her closest relative and technically her acting guardian –"

"You need me to come out there." Katniss cut the woman on the other end of the phone off, wanting the conversation to end.

"Yes. As soon as you can."

"I'll see what I can do." Katniss hung up before the woman could respond. After a few moments of silence Prim cleared her throat and Katniss let out a deep sigh. Still looking at the phone in her hands Katniss told Prim what ha happened.

"Mom tried to kill her self. I have to go out there." Katniss heard Prim's breath catch, and immediately regretted how coldly she had told her sister, because unlike Katniss, Prim still loved Caroline Everdeen despite her cruelty. Katniss looked over to her sister, and laid a comforting hand on her arm.

"I'm sure she'll be fine. I just have to go out there and talk to the doctors." Prim nodded and took a shaky breath, before turning to Katniss.

"Katniss you can't go out there alone. There are too many bad memories. You shouldn't deal with her alone." Katniss was surprised at the ferocity she saw in Prim's face and nodded at her before audibly promising she would ask Peeta. Katniss could see relief on Prim's face and a few moments later they walked in silence to the apartment.

Inside Peeta lay on the couch, watching TV, Audrey asleep curled into his chest, her tiny fists clutching his shirt. His eyes darted between Katniss and Prim's solemn faces, and Katniss shook her head to tell him "not now". He quickly nodded in understanding, before gently easing himself and Audrey off the couch to put her to bed. Prim mumbled a quick goodnight to Katniss and they both headed to their separate rooms.

After changing into her sleep clothes Katniss sat in her and Peeta's bed, her arms holding her knees to her chest as she waited for him to join her. When he finally did, he quickly changed, and sat next to her.

"Did she go down alright?" Katniss asked and Peeta nodded his head.

"Yeah. All our playing tuckered her out." Katniss smiled a small smile at the memory of their evening and unfolded her legs to lie against Peeta's side. He quickly put an arm around her and set his chin on her head, and Katniss felt relief wash over her.

"Back before, when we where… there, I would catch myself in daydreams, where she knew you and you knew her. Sometimes it would be you and her in the bakery, working on cookies, or you would be teaching her how to paint, or it would be like tonight where I just watched the two of you play. There were some days where I was so convinced it would never happen, and now that it is, it's so much better than anything I ever dreamed up." Peeta pulled Katniss tighter against him and she felt him kiss the top of her head, but he remained silent still. She knew he was waiting for her to tell him what was wrong, and she was thankful he was letting her get there on her own.

"When Audrey was born I swore to myself that I would never be like my mother. That I would make sure she knew – knew how much you and I loved her, that I would always take care of her and protect her. I swore she would never know what it is like to have her mother scream at her, or call her a whore or anything like that. I never want her to hate me the way I hate my mother."

"Katniss, you are absolutely nothing like your mother. You're Audrey's entire world. The way she looks at you, it reminds me of the way you used to look at your father."

Katniss felt tears prick her eyes at the thought of her father, and sighed.

"I have to go back there Peeta. My mom tried to kill herself and they need me to come out there because she won't cooperate. What kills me is that when they told me I wasn't sad or upset at all, not in the right way. I was mad. Mad at her because once again she managed to put more responsibility on me. What kind of horrible person thinks that way?" Katniss could feel herself begin to shake, and Peeta protectively wrapped his free arm around her, crushing her to his chest.

"After everything she put you through Katniss, all those horrible things, the fact that you're still going to go take care of her proves that you are in no way a horrible person. She may be a horrible mother, and you may hate her, but she's sick and you've always taken care of her however you could."

Katniss found solace in Peeta's words, and felt some of the tension leave her mind.

"I can't do it alone. Not again. Will you come with me?" Katniss asked in a near whisper, hating how small her admission made her feel.

"Katniss of course. I wasn't kidding when I told you I was never letting you go anywhere without me again."

Katniss smiled at his words, and eventually fell into a peaceful sleep, curled against Peeta's chest, her fists clutching his shirt, the same way Audrey had earlier in the night.

* * *

**So it's going to be a little emotional story wise in the next chapter, which is quite long by the way, but there will be some light moments, as well as our introduction to Haymitch and Finnick (can you guess what his character will be?) Also, there will be a little more insight into Mrs. Everdeen's mental health, which I promise I am not exploring flippantly. I work in the medical field and am knowledgeable on a personal level when it comes to poor mental health, so I hope I explain it and work it the right way. (If you can't tell I'm quite nervous because I want it to be realistic!) **


	7. Chapter 6

**Here's Chapter 6! Hope you enjoy! (Author's note at the end!)**

* * *

The next morning, Katniss and Peeta quickly set about preparing for their trip. While Peeta purchased the plane tickets and reserved the hotel, Katniss packed three small bags. Originally Peeta and Katniss had decided against bringing Audrey and having his parents watch her, but the thought of her daughter being on the other side of the country from her had sent Katniss into a full scale panic attack. Eventually Peeta had calmed her down and it was decided that Audrey would come. Prim offered to join as well, but Katniss told her no; that missing school wasn't an option. She could tell that Prim was relived to not be going, and while Peeta's parents were sad to not be watching Audrey, they were delighted to take care of Prim.

After Katniss had finished packing and while Peeta was dropping Prim off at the Mellarks, Katniss went to wake Audrey. It was still very early, not even 6am, and for a moment Katniss stood watching as Audrey's chest rose and fell as she slept, reluctant to wake her up. Leaning over, Katniss brushed Audrey's' curly dark hair off of her forehead, and slid her hand down over her daughter's arm. Audrey's eyes fluttered open slowly at the touch, and Katniss smiled a small smile.

"Hey baby, it's time to wake up." Katniss said softly while Audrey drifted in and out of sleep, trying to wake. "You, Mommy and Daddy are taking a trip, so I know it's early but we have to get ready." Audrey looked at Katniss sleepily, trying to catch up to what she had been told.

"Trip?"

"Yes little duck, a trip. But we have to get ready first." Audrey nodded and yawned, holding her arms out to Katniss. Katniss lifted Audrey out of bed, and went about the task of bathing and feeding her.

When Peeta returned, Katniss was seated on the couch; Audrey dressed and curled up asleep on her lap. Katniss gratefully accepted the coffee Peeta handed her, and watched him disappear once again to put their bags in the car. While he was gone, and careful not to wake Audrey, Katniss decided to text Haymitch.

"Hey. Mom's in bad shape, so we're coming out there. We'll be there in 8 hours. I may need you to watch Aud. Stay sober. See you soon."

Almost immediately her phone buzzed with Haymitch's response.

"Shit sweetheart. Hell of a timely warning. See you and the munchkin soon."

Katniss put her phone away and wrapped her arms around her daughter's sleeping form, the thought of "soon" rolling around her mind.

* * *

The plane ride had been uneventful, Katniss and Peeta both silently thankful Audrey had been fascinated rather than scared of flying. They had gone directly from the airport to their hotel, where Katniss now sat by the window that overlooked the city. Behind her, Audrey lay snuggled into a blanket taking a nap, and Katniss felt Peeta come stand beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to him and smiled, and he smiled back, lightly squeezing her where his hand lay. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Katniss sighed, standing and stretching her limbs.

"We should wake her or she'll never sleep tonight." Katniss whispered to Peeta motioning to Audrey. Peeta chuckled lightly.

"You're right. I hate waking her up though. She looks just like you while she's sleeping." Katniss smiled and rolled her eyes at Peeta, and he kissed her on the forehead before going to wake up Audrey.

Katniss closed her eyes for a moment, in order to mentally prepare for where they were headed. This was not something she was looking forward too. Not at all.

The cab ride to the hospital was silent, and Katniss was solemn as she tried to think about anything other than what lay before her. Audrey sat in Peeta's lap, and Katniss wasn't at all surprised to find that her daughter was watching her carefully. She suspected Audrey knew something was wrong, and was worried for her, but there wasn't an explanation Katniss felt she could give to calm the child.

When the cab came to it's stop, Peeta handed Audrey to Katniss so he could pay, and she silently waited near the entrance for him. Katniss clung to Audrey, and the little girl wrapped herself around Katniss, her face in Katniss' neck, and a hand tangled in her long braid. The last time she had been at this hospital Katniss suddenly realized, was when she had been in labor with Audrey, and she hugged the girl a tad tighter. Peeta joined them at the door then, and as they turned to walk inside, Katniss heard a gruff voice that froze her in her tracks.

"I can't believe you brought the kid here sweetheart. I figured you would, but still." Katniss whirled around as Haymitch walked up behind them and rolled her eyes at the older man.

"What was I supposed to do? Leave her at the hotel with the TV on and some Cheerios to eat? Besides I knew you'd show up." She smiled cheekily at Haymitch, eliciting a grunt from him.

"Yeah well I guess I can't stay away. How'ya doing munchkin?" Haymitch reached out and tugged on a strand of Audrey's hair, much to her dismay.

"Stopppp Haymish!" Katniss chuckled at Audrey and heard Peeta clear his throat, to signal his presence. Before she could introduce him however, Haymitch spoke.

"And you must be Peeta. I'll tell ya boy, you must be great in the sack because Katniss here was hell bent on getting back to you. Talked my ear off about you constantly." Haymitch grinned and shook Peeta's hand, and Katniss felt her cheeks turn a deep shade of crimson. Done with introductions and hellos, Haymitch signaled to the door.

"Shall we?" Katniss took a deep breath and turned to walk into the hospital lobby.

* * *

The woman lying in the hospital bed staring out the window was not the same woman Katniss carried in her memory. In her mind her mother went from a useless piece of furniture to a raging monster that she detested and feared. Looking through the door's window however, all Katniss could see was someone so broken down and alone it actually made her sad. Katniss sighed and turned around to rejoin Peeta in the chairs outside the room. Haymitch had taken Audrey to the cafeteria, mentioning ice cream, which had allowed Peeta to stay with Katniss.

The sound of heels clicking on the tile floor caught Katniss' attention, and she took in the woman coming towards them. She wore a form fitting animal print dress, stilettos, over styled hair and too much make-up, the only indication that she belonged at the hospital was the white lab coat she was cloaked in. The woman stopped in front of them and smiled a smile that seemed too bright and cheerful in the dreary hospital halls.

"Miss Everdeen I presume?" Katniss tried to not flinch at the woman's loud and shrill voice, and fiddled with the end of her braid.

"Yes. You must be Effie?"

"Right you are my dear! It's so nice to put a face to a voice. Dreadful circumstances of course. And who is this handsome young man?" While Katniss fought against rolling her eyes, Peeta stood, and offered his hand for Effie to shake.

"Peeta Mellark. It's nice to meet you Miss Trinkett."

"Oh what a charmer! Please dear, it's Effie! Now if you two will follow me we have a lot we must discuss!" Katniss felt an overwhelming desire to take Effie's clipboard and beat her with it, but she instead stood and followed Effie and Peeta down the hall and into a conference room. Once they were all seated Effie began.

"Now dears, I feel before you meet the doctor on your mother's case, you should be filled in on what he has observed. May I ask how much you know about your mother's condition?" Effie waited expectantly, and Katniss flinched. She had never really given much thought to Caroline's "condition", she had just dealt with its repercussions until she could finally get professional to deal with it instead. The idea that she hadn't even cared to find out about what her mother's exact issues were sunk her with guilt, and after a few moments of silence Effie seemed to take this for her answer.

"Well, let me tell you what we've seen over the past few months. Your mother, Mrs. Everdeen, suffers from an array of mental health issues. Some were pre-existing, however manageable, while others were brought on by the death of your father, also exacerbating issues that were already present. From the file and the reports you gave, as well as several therapy sessions, we were able to diagnose Mrs. Everdeen with manic depression. She also informed us that she suffers from bi-polar disorder and has since childhood. Before your father's untimely death, she managed her issues with medication, which she immediately stopped taking once he was gone, causing her problems to escalate and manifest themselves which you of course saw first hand."

Katniss' mouth felt dry and her mind spun with the information. She had never known about her mother's mental health growing up. Caroline had always been distant with Katniss, and Katniss had always been frustrated and confused by Caroline, her preference for her father obvious. She stared at the table, her arms and her legs felt like lead, the crushing guilt weighed her down, and rendered her speechless. She heard Peeta speak for her.

"So that's why after Mr. Everdeen passed away she acted the way she did?" Effie nodded.

"Yes from our conversations and from the testimony Katniss gave, we think she fell into a deep depressive state, until one day a "switch" if you will, was flipped. Months of refusal to deal with her loss manifested in anger and fear."

Katniss' head snapped up.

"Fear? Fear of what?" Effie's eyes softened and she smiled sadly at Katniss.

"Fear of losing what she had left dear. She wasn't able to express it correctly, however, and it caused her to act rather… irrationally." At Effie's words Katniss felt the guilt inside of her melt away into rage.

"You mean by basically kidnapping my sister and I and hiding us away from everyone and everything? Yeah. I'd say that was pretty fucking 'irrational'."

"Now dear, you're angry with her, I know, but you must try and understand – " Katniss stood up suddenly, her hands on the table, and leaned towards an obviously startled Effie.

"Understand? I get that she has problems. Prim and I begged her to get help. She didn't. That's why instead of leaving the day I turned 18 I took the time to have her committed because I knew she couldn't' take care of my sister. Believe me I understand plenty. But don't you dare fucking ask me to have sympathy for her after what she did. You can tell me that taking Prim and I and hiding us away was her own sick way of keeping us safe and I can understand that messed up logic. But what about when she tried to force me to abort my baby? What about when she refused to take me to the doctor during my pregnancy? Did you know that in 2 goddamn years she never held or even acknowledged my daughter's existence? Give me a medical reason that will explain that shit to me, please, I'd love to "understand"!" Katniss could feel how rapid her breathing was and she was caught somewhere between strangling the shocked and speechless woman in front of her and turning to run through the door. She wasn't given the chance to do either, as the sound of someone clapping behind her caused Katniss to whip around, startled herself.

The man behind her was dressed casually, except for his medical coat, with bronze hair, and green eyes that sparkled in amusement.

"Haymitch warned me you were quite the fire-cracker. Actually, I think his words were "pain in the ass" but I'm not nearly as crass as he is." The man winked playfully at Katniss, and she felt so shaken by his easy demeanor she couldn't speak, and felt Peeta pull her down into her chair. The doctor walked over towards Effie and lay a hand on her back.

"Effie, dear, thanks for warming them up for me, but I can take it from here. We're going to be great friends aren't we Katniss?" he cocked an eyebrow and Katniss furrowed her own, before she turned to see Peeta try and hide a smile at her obvious confusion. Effie exited the room and the man sad down, his feet propped up, and his hands locked behind his head.

"The name's Finnick O'Dair. I've been treating your mother for a while now."

"Uh huh." Katniss was still trying to catch up to the abrupt change in the room's atmosphere, and she could tell it amused the strange man. As she tried to collect herself, Finnick turned his attention towards Peeta.

"So! You must be Peeta! I've hard a lot about you." He changed positions, legs off the table, and leaned forward his voice low but playful. "Knocking this one up at 15? You may be the bravest man alive, because from what Haymitch tells me she's quite the handful." He cracked a grin, and Peeta wisely chose not to respond.

"What the hell is going on?" Katniss found her voice, her annoyance and anger evident in her tone. Finnick turned towards her, his eyes still amused, but his face a tad more serious.

"Well, Effie tried to tell you before you jumped down her throat. I don't think anyone has ever yelled at her like that. She's probably going to need years of therapy."

Katniss heard Peeta stifle a chuckle next to her, and she folded her arms across her chest as she stared at Finnick who sighed in response.

"I suppose she doesn't really understand how to deal with certain people though. So here I am to save the day. Look everything she told you was real, but she was reading it from my report. Allow me to elaborate." He paused and Katniss raised her eyebrows, signaling him to continue.

"Yes your mother suffers from manic depression and bi-polar disorder. Yes she stopped taking her meds, and it caused her to lose the control she had. Yes, the way she acted was wrong, dangerous, and selfish; and no, I am not asking you to forgive her, at least not right now. She may be my patient but the way she acted obviously took an emotional toll on you, and I am not eager to cause the mental breakdown of an 18-year-old mother. What I am asking however, is for you to understand that for the past few years your mother has not been in control of her mind. Her mental illnesses are very real, and manifest themselves in very real and obvious ways. Alright?" he watched Katniss intently, but she only nodded in response.

"Ok. He sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. "When your mother first came to me, she was, as you probably recall, cold, mean, and rather aggressive physically." Katniss flinched a little at the memory of her mother's hand raised to her and nodded. "After a few weeks of having to physically restrain and sedate her, her demeanor shifted. We had begun her back on her medications, and after some time they had an obvious effect. It was like she was walking out of a thick fog, and she began to realize what she had done. Many of our sessions were spent with her telling me about what had transpired over the past few years. She wasn't asking forgiveness, in fact she didn't initially seem to want it, she just needed to say it all out loud. Then about two weeks ago, she talked about your father for the first real time, about how it felt to lose him and how much she had loved him and finally it all ….. clicked. Sometimes patients repress memories, while other repress feelings, or change the memories and the feelings associated in order to mentally compensate. Something can trigger the removal of the "veil" however and in your mother's case, finally opening up about your father did that." Finnick stopped, and Katniss swallowed trying to understand.

"So she tried to kill herself because she finally realized my father was gone?"

"No Katniss. Your mother finally realized that after your father's death her actions were misguided and very very wrong. She tried to kill herself because she can't live with what she did to you." His tone was soft, but Katniss felt something rise inside of her. Her breathing became rapid, tears formed in her eyes, and she turned towards Peeta, her look frantic. The look in his eyes told her he recognized the oncoming panic attack, and she felt his hands on her face, his lips on her forehead.

"Shh Katniss, it's ok. It's not your fault. You didn't do this. It's going to be ok. Breathe." He whispered in her ear, as his fingers gently ghosted over her skin. It took a few minutes and as Katniss calmed she leaned her forehead against his.

"Why now? I can't… Everything was finally good. Why now?" She spoke to Peeta, her words sounded broken and she felt helpless.

"I don't know. But we'll deal with it. Together." Katniss closed her eyes and nodded against him. Finnick cleared his throat, and she jumped, having forgotten he was in the room as well.

"I don't mean to go all "doctor" on you, but when did you start having panic attacks Katniss?" Katniss shifted in her chair, uncomfortable at the turn in conversation.

"Pretty much right after we moved here. They don't happen much anymore and they aren't as bad as they used to be."

"Anything in particular that sets them off?" Katniss glanced at Peeta before answering.

"The idea of being separated from Audrey or Peeta I guess. Or when my mom would threaten Prim." Katniss felt Peeta grasp her hand tightly.

"More specifically the idea of your mother separating you from them?" Finnick asked thoughtfully, and Katniss gulped audibly. "I'll take that as a yes. Katniss I can assure you that is not going to happen. In fact you don't even have to see your mother and I'm actually going to recommend that if you do, you don't do it alone or for more than a brief visit. Neither of you is emotionally prepared for "reconciliation"; and healing takes significant time. You are here to sign forms that will allow us to continue treatment, and to be frank I needed to be able to assess the situation and your mental status. So, I'm going to have you fill out some paper work and discuss treatments with you, and we'll be done. Whether you see your mother or not is up to you." Katniss nodded numbly as Finnick set about having her fill out forms.

When they finally exited the room, she was exhausted. Finnick left them with his card and a dashing smile, and then she and Peeta were alone. Peeta cleared his throat.

"So. What are you thinking?"

"You mean am I going to see her?" Peeta shrugged, obviously trying to not pressure her either way, and Katniss sighed.

"I know I should, but I don't think I can. Yet." She felt ashamed, and cast her glance downwards, and Peeta enveloped her in his arms.

"That's why Finnick gave us his card. When you are ready we'll do it. Together." He pulled away and kissed Katniss on the forehead, and the simple show of affection flooded her entire body.

"Now, let's go and find our daughter. I know you trust Haymitch but I'd rather not hear Audrey use foul language for at least 20 years. Or ever." Katniss let out a snort at Peeta's words, and she stuck her tongue out playfully. He smiled, took her hand in his and together they headed towards the cafeteria in search of Audrey.

* * *

**Ok so it was a long chapter and it took me some time to write! It's been pretty heavy the last few chapters I know. The next chapter will take a closer look at what it was like for Katniss being a single mother and it will explore the mother/daughter relationship she has with Audrey as well as give some more depth to the changes in Katniss and Peeta's relationship. (But I swear there will be a lot more light moments and some cute kid stuff as well. I need a break from writing such real and dark emotional things!)**


	8. Chapter 7

**So this chapter is long. I could have split it into two but I may not have another chance to sit down at my computer and update for a bit so this is my way of apologizing beforehand in case that happens. And remember when I promised that eventually there would be some more smut? Enjoy!**

* * *

_The meat in the pan on the stove sizzled and Katniss rubbed her stomach absentmindedly._

_"Is she kicking?" Prim asked, suddenly appearing beside her, making her jump. Katniss frowned._

_"No. Actually she's been pretty calm today."_

_"It must be because Mom's been in town all day." Katniss smiled at Prim's observation. It was true, the baby was calmer when Katniss herself was, but today something felt different. She just wasn't sure what it was. She stared out the window, watching as the rain drizzled away. She missed the snow at home. Actually she missed a lot more than the snow. She found herself lost in a daydream, as she was apt to do, when the sound of a gasp from Prim brought her back to reality._

_"Katniss, oh my god you're leaking!" Katniss felt the wetness that had descended down her legs. So that's why today felt different. She reached over to turn off the stove and turned to Prim, who was as pale as a sheet._

_"My water must have broke. Do you know what that means little duck?" Prim nodded, her eyes wide, and Katniss took a deep breath._

_"Can you go next door and ask the neighbors to come? Tell them I'm in labor, they'll know how to help." Prim nodded and was off in a flash, leaving Katniss alone. She calmly collected the bag she had prepared and sat on the couch, and once again her thoughts turned to home, to Peeta. She wondered what he was doing, if he missed her, and she felt the familiar pang in her heart associated with such thoughts. She was about to have his baby, and he had no idea._

_Around the time the first contraction hit, Prim returned, the friendly neighbor Delly Cartwright in tow. Katniss leaned over and massaged her stomach, waiting as it passed and noted the time. This was actually happening._

_Time was moving very slowly. Katniss sat in a hospital bed, Prim next to her, the pain extraordinary. The nurse assured her once again that her mother was on the way, and Katniss snapped._

_"I don't give two shits if my mother is here or not, just get this thing out of me!" Prim coughed to cover up a giggle, and the shocked nurse went to fetch the doctor. The searing pain continued and Prim rubbed Katniss' back as she moaned in pain. This was too much, she was too alone. She was only 16, this wasn't supposed to be happening. Peeta should be here. Her final thought echoed throughout her mind, and she grit her teeth to keep the tears from falling. After a quick check by the doctor, it was apparently time to go. Katniss struggled, and was vaguely aware of yelling at the nurse, at the doctor, at Peeta, even God, and after what felt like days, the pain was gone. Gone and replaced with something else. (Later on, when trying to describe it to Peeta, she would compare it to that scene in the Grinch where his heart grew three times, but really the feeling was indescribable.)_

_The warm bundle that was placed in her arms changed her. She made no effort to hid her tears now, she had never before been this captivated or this in love._

_"Hi there. I'm your Mom." The baby's eyes opened; the bright blue silencing Katniss. She had only seen that color in one person's eyes before, the one person she knew would love this child as much as she did. It was during that moment she once again found her resolve, the second time it was brought on by this child, the resolve that one day, no matter what it took, Peeta would get his chance to fall as hopelessly in love with the tiny baby as she had._

* * *

The sound of Audrey screaming drew Katniss out of her memory. She felt panic rise in her throat, and she looked towards where the sound had come from. As soon as she found them, she calmed and sat back in the pool chair she had claimed.

Back at the hotel after a rather interesting dinner with Haymitch, Peeta had suggested taking advantage of the heated indoor pool. After taking one look at their sugar high and wound up daughter, Katniss had agreed. She rested her chin in her hand, and sat near the edge, as she watched Peeta throw Audrey in the air, the reason for the screams.

Peeta laughed as he caught her and swung her around, and Katniss felt a familiar warmth rush over her. IT was a feeling she had only started having a few months ago, and it had taken her time to come to understand it. It was the feeling of things falling in place, of her family coming together and her dreams coming true. But a question had begun to nag at Katniss, allowing doubt and fear to seep through the cracks that it caused. Was this Peeta's dream too?

* * *

Later that night, Katniss sat on the edge of the bed, watching as Audrey slept curled up on the Hotel provided roll-away bed. Peeta exited the bathroom and crawled into bed beside her.

"Katniss come here." She turned to him and smiled, as she made her way over to lay on his chest, wrapped in his arms. After a few minutes, he shifted, moving them both until they lay face to face on their sides, their legs twisted together under the covers. Katniss could tell something was on his mind as his eyes searched hers, and she busied herself playing with hair on his arm until he spoke.

"You've been quiet since we got here." He said in a hushed voice, and Katniss stilled her fingers.

"I've just been remembering."

"Oh." They remained silent, so close his breath ghosted over her face, until Katniss asked the question she had held onto since they had begun again.

"If I had stayed, what would have happened?" She didn't want to elaborate, and the way his body tensed told her she had no need to.

"If you had stayed, I think we'd be right where we are. Actually, we'd probably be married and I'd be trying to convince you to have another one." He grinned and Katniss laughed a little, before she retuned her attention to his arm hair.

"But this is what you would want?" She met his gaze briefly, her voice small, and she turned her eyes downward. She felt as strong hand brush across her cheek, his lips on her forehead, her eyebrows, until he lifted her chin to place a kiss on her lips.

"Yes Katniss. This is what I want." She smiled and pulled herself as close to him as she could, and snuggled into his warmth.

* * *

**2 Weeks Later**

Katniss stood in their room, hands on her hips and a smirk on her face as she watched Peeta try to assemble the seemingly simple plastic playhouse. Parts lay scattered around him and he grumbled something about how "Part A" didn't fit with "Part B", and as his frustration mounted, her amusement grew. She made her way behind him, her arms wound around his chest, her chin on his right shoulder.

"Would you like some help?" she teased and he huffed.

"I think I can put together a plastic playhouse Katniss." His tone was annoyed and she couldn't suppress the laugh that slipped out. "What's so damn funny?" She tightened her arms around him and placed a quick kiss to his jaw.

"You're just so frustrated. It's adorable." At that he turned his head so she could see him roll his eyes, and she didn't try to hide her laughter anymore.

"I just want her birthday to be good. And half a playhouse would not be an ideal present."

"Don't worry, you'll beat the big bad playhouse. I have faith in you." She grinned and nuzzled his ear before she released him from her grip. She then climbed into their bed, placed headphones in her ear to drown out his gripes, and went about wrapping Audrey's other gifts.

Peeta was set on spoiling their daughter this year, and Katniss didn't protest. Her first two birthdays had passed quietly, with very few gifts, and a quiet celebration between Audrey, Katniss and Prim. This year Audrey wouldn't know what hit her. Peeta had made a colorful chocolate cake, decorated with Audrey's current favorite: butterflies, or as she called them "bub bub flies"; and his parents would be joining them for a small party. Peeta had spent the last few days teaching Audrey how to hold up the number three with her fingers, and every day she asked Katniss if she was "this many" yet.

After Katniss finished wrapping the last gift, she collected the colorful boxes, and placed them in the bedroom closet. She pulled her headphones from her ears, and jumped when Peeta tapped her shoulder.

"Oh my God Peeta, what?" She turned to face him, and he smiled at her like he had the best secret in the world.

"Look!" He pointed proudly at the complete playhouse, and Katniss shook her head, a smile on her own lips.

"You're so proud of yourself aren't you?"

"Damn right I am." He surveyed his work proudly, and Katniss leaned into his side.

"She's going to love it Peeta." He turned to her then, and as he placed his arms around her waist, she snaked hers around his neck.

"You think?"

"Yes. I think." She tipped up on her toes to kiss his nose, and he pressed their bodies flush together. He pressed his lips to hers, and Katniss felt as the fire began to rise in her. She ran her hands down his chest, and brought them to rest on the small of his back. She snuck them up under the hem of his shirt, and broke their kiss to free him of it. She placed her hands on his chest and he held his arms out to give her free reign. She kissed her way down his jaw, his neck, to his chest, every so often she would flick her tongue out onto his flesh, because she knew it drove him crazy. She kissed her way to his abdomen, and ran her thumbs over his nipples, earning a gasp before she dropped to her knees. She undid his jeans and pushed them off of him, before she ran her hands up his thighs. She stilled her hands on the backs of them, as she kissed her way up, starting at his knees.

"I fucking love your legs." She said, and without breaking eye contact with him, she licked up the front of his left thigh, using only the tip of her tongue. Katniss had always had a thing for his legs, and their pure power and muscle had become a huge turn on for her. When she reached the edge of his boxers, she slowly stood, her still clothed chest brushing against him on purpose. She didn't break her gaze as she took his hands and pulled him to the edge of their bed. He sat, and she backed away from him before she slowly removed her shirt and her jeans. From the way his hands gripped the edge of the bed she knew what she was doing drove him crazy, and she smirked. She moved to stand in between his legs, and wound her hands in his hair before she climbed up and straddled him. His hands rested on her hips and she began to grind into him as she pulled his head back to kiss him. He moaned into her mouth and she used her elbows to push him onto his back.

She continued to grind her hips into his, as she reached behind her to where his hands lay on her hips. She eased his arms above his head as she kissed him deeply, and as she used one of her arms to hold his above him, she sunk her teeth into his bottom lip, pulling it back. She released his lip and rested her forehead against his, a smirk on her face at the moans coming from his mouth, and she slid her free hand down in between them. She lifted her hips slightly and grasped his dick through his boxers, squeezing when he gasped at the contact. She grinned playfully at him and brushed her nose against his own, as she released her hold and slid her hand under his waistband to grip his shaft.

"I love that I do this to you." She whispered in his ear, before taking his ear lobe in her mouth. She removed her hand from him for a moment to push his boxers down just enough, and she took him in her hand once again. She sucked on his neck as she worked her hand up and down his shaft, once, twice, three times, before she pulled back to look in his eyes. They were closed, his breathing labored, but they shot open when she ran his head against the outside of her soaked through underwear.

"Katniss." He choked out, and she grinned, choosing to lick up his jaw to his ear before giving a response.

"Yes Peeta?" She tried to sound innocent as she continued to rub him against herself.

"Please." She released him from her hand, careful to raise herself just enough off of him, and returned her hand to above his hand, tracing the outside of his ear with her tongue.

"What do you want Peeta?" she practically growled at him, and she felt his entire body shudder.

"I want you Katniss." At his words she leaned down and kissed him as passionately as she could, before she broke the kiss to roll off of him. He leaned up on his elbow and she watched him as she slid off her own underwear.

"Peeta. You can either wait for me to give you want you want – " she sat up near the headboard and snapped off her bra; "and we both know that could be a _very_ long wait-" she paused again and slid her hands down her own body, using her hands to part her thighs to him; "or you can come and fucking get it."

In seconds Peeta was in front of her, on his knees, and he pulled her by the calves towards him. He leaned over her, and began to grind the length of his cock against her, one hand buried in her hair as the other twisted her nipple. She felt him tighten his hold in her hair, before he tugged her head back, causing her to moan. He took her other nipple in his teeth, biting and stretching it upwards.

"You." He circled his tongue around her, and took her other breast full in his hand, squeezing as hard as she figured he dared.

"Are." He took his hand out of her hair, placing it where his mouth at been.

"Such." He squeezed both of her breasts and the pain felt so good she threw her head back as she arched into him.

"A." She felt him glide his hands from her front to under her back, before he lifted her up and placed her on his lap.

"Fucking." She wrapped her arms around his beck, bent her legs, her feet on the bed as he held onto her hips tightly.

"Tease." With his final word he lifted her up by her hips and slammed inside of her. Katniss used her legs as leverage and met him thrust for thrust, her head thrown back, his faced pressed in between her breasts. When her legs began to shake with the effort, she wrapped them around his back, and he propelled her onto her own back mid-thrust. She dug her ankles into him, as he locked his hands behind her head, and closed the space between their lower bodies, his weight resting on her. He buried his head in her neck, she her nails in his shoulder blades, and he buried himself inside of her harder and faster with each thrust.

"You're so fucking tight Katniss." He grunted in her ear, and she moved her legs as wide apart as she could to get him in deeper, her reward a deep moan in her ear. His thrusts were coming so hard and so fast and so deep that Katniss had to place a hand on the headboard behind her to brace herself against it. His breath was hot against her neck, and she could no longer keep her eyes open. She wound her free hand into his hair as her moans and gasps gained volume, and the fire in her body was being replaced by ice, that began creeping up from her toes.

"Peeta, I'm so close!" she threw her hand from his hair to join the other on the headboard, and felt her entire body become consumed, every nerve alive, every hair on end, light flashing behind her eyes. His hands moved down to her hips, his grip so tight it was nearly painful, as his movements became faster. He did this to reach his own release, but it kept Katniss' alive as well, and when he finally buried himself inside of her she couldn't remember how to speak.

Their breathing was rapid, and he remained inside of her, his face buried in her neck, and she moved her hands into his hair. After a few minutes he slid out of her, and pulled himself up next to where she lay.

"Hey." She reached out and brushed his sweaty hair off of his forehead, and he caught her hand, kissing it before he placed it on his chest.

"Hey back." She smiled and moved to drape herself over him.

"I love when you get like that." He kissed the top of her head and Katniss blushed.

"It's something you do to me I think. Sometimes I see you and I just can't help myself." She leaned her head back to place a kiss on his jaw, and he brushed a thumb across her eye.

"I love you Katniss. A little more each day actually." He smiled a small smile at her, and before she could stop them, or even think about them, the words tumbled out of her mouth.

"Marry me Peeta."

* * *

**So I know I didn't talk anymore about Katniss and her mother, but that is coming and I think the direction I took will make sense once you see how I deal with it. I know that the characters are OOC sometimes, but I still want to follow who they are, and Katniss' inability to face things like her mother's illness seems in character to me. She'll have to work towards it on her own, and not be pressured so it will be discussed. Also, there is a "deleted scene" from this part and if you'd like it PM me and I'll send it to you. I didn't hate it, I just didn't think it went with the entire flow of the chapter. It takes place during Katniss' flashback and it's rather fluffy and sappy. Other than that, sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger like that but I'll be back as soon as work allows! And I'm going to create a tumblr or something to post this story to because I heard about the whole drama situation happening right now, so don't worry I'll make a back up! Until next time!**


	9. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone. I'm so sorry about how long this has taken and that I have yet to PM those who PM'd me or reviewed the last chapter and asked for the outtake. My personal and work lives have been utterly filled with pandemonium the past week and I also lost power in my house for a while thanks to a Tropical Storm. But this is a quick chapter, a filler almost to lead up to big events and what I consider to be "Part II" of this story. ALSO: I know there is a lot of drama on here right now. I am not a fan of censorship, but I don't quite warrant an invite to AO3, so I will continue posting on here until I can't any longer. But I will also be posting on my tumblr that I am working on, which is glintwarsgreatest dot tumblr dot com**

**Finally I'm a little pissed that this is happening since I have a new AU I'm working on for THG which to say it will be rated "M" is an understatement. But I'm going to post it anyways so you can all decide it it's worth your time. Anyways, sorry for the wait!**

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"What?" Katniss wasn't surprised at Peeta's shock; in fact she was shocked at her words herself. Her shock was of a different kind though. She was shocked that she meant her words, and now that they had been said she realized marrying Peeta wasn't something she wanted out of necessity, which was her main motivation for most of her actions, but because she loved him; because she wanted to tie herself to him in every possible way. Forever. She pulled away from him and sat on her knees, taking one of his hands in both of her own.

"Peeta. Will you marry me?" His mouth was agape, and he was still obviously bewildered, and Katniss knew he had every reason to be. She had always made it clear she did not want to be married, that she didn't want kids. But accidents happen, circumstances change, people grow, and Katniss' entire perspective had been shifted the moment the pregnancy test had resulted positive. Actually, her perspective had begun to change the day she realized she was in love with Peeta some four odd years ago. He never pushed her, always willing to set aside what he wanted the most for her, and that kind of pure, unadulterated love had given her reason to want the kind of life he did. He would think she only asked for his sake – they were practically already married; but it was something she had been thinking about since he had shared what he thought would have become of them if she had never moved. She liked what he saw, and she wanted it.

"Katniss, you don't want to get married." She almost laughed, because she knew him so well that she predicted his answer, but now was not the time to make fun.

"I didn't. You're right. But that's the thing Peeta. There are a lot of things I used to not want, but things change. I changed, I fell in love with you when we were 15, you fell in love with me when we were 5. You waited 10 years for me and then you waited 3 more. If I were with anyone else I probably wouldn't want to get married. But then again I couldn't be with anyone else. I'm with you, and I want this."

"This isn't just for me then?" He was quiet, and she knew it was because he didn't want her to do something she would regret. This time she did let out a single soft chuckle.

"Peeta, I'm a selfish person, and when I want something I get it. And what I want is you. In every way possible." He reached a trembling hand to her cheek, his face serious, and his eyes intent on her own.

"Katniss, you're the least selfish person I know. You would give up your life for the people you love."

"Is that an answer?" Katniss asked, eyebrows raised.

"That's a yes Katniss Everdeen. I will marry you." He leaned forward and captured her lips in a sweet kiss, and his tears mingled with her own.

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**6 Months Later**

Katniss sat on the balcony of the apartment watching the sunrise as she sipped at her coffee. She heard the door slide open behind her and felt as Peeta kissed the top of her head before he pulled up a a chair next to her. Katniss turned to him and smiled.

"Good morning." Peeta ran his hand through his hair and sipped his own coffee, a sly grin on his face. Katniss let out a single laugh and rolled her eyes. Peeta had surprised her in the shower this morning. It had been a very nice surprise.

"A good morning indeed." She grinned at him and he winked at her. They sat in silence for a while, each lost in thought, when Katniss felt Peeta brush the hair off her face. He had moved next o her – and it startled her. Peeta was many things, but quiet wasn't usually among them.

"Can I help you?" She asked him teasingly. He smiled at her, before he pulled a small box out of his pulled a small box out of his pocket, and Katniss sucked in a breath.

"Yeah actually you can. See, I have this fiancé, but since she proposed to me I never got to give her a ring. Which sucks since my mom always told me she had one put away for me." Peeta opened the small black box and revealed a ring with a silver band pearls and diamonds clustered together. Peeta's eyes were earnest, and they shined up at her. "Sorry it took so long. It was my great grandmother's so it need some work done." Katniss leaned forward and kissed him, soft and slow, and when she pulled back he slid the ring on her finger.

"July 23rd." Peeta knit his eyebrows, obviously confused at what she had just said, and Katniss tried to explain.

"That's when I want to do this. Small. Just our family and a few friends. At the garden by Crystal Lake." Peeta's eyes were amused at her sudden outburst, one eyebrow cocked.

"You want to get married where our daughter was conceived? Really?" Katniss blushed and nodded a yes. She pulled him up by him arm and placed him in her chair, taking her seat in his lap.

"I think it makes sense to legally become a family at the place we started it." Peeta chuckled at her.

"Why so soon? My mom is going to flip." Katniss sucked at her bottom lip, pulled up her legs to her chest and snuggled into Peeta.

"Because we've waited long enough, that's why." She knew it wasn't the response he wanted, but it's what she gave him. His fingers played in her hair and Katniss closed her eyes as serenity washed over her.

"Katniss?" he whispered, and she was so content she responded only with a grunt.

"Are you going to tell her?" Katniss tensed, eyes flown open, and she pulled back from his grasp. He had been good about not asking about her mother. Why now? Katniss shuddered thinking about Caroline. She couldn't just call and drop the news. Peeta was asking an entirely different question, and they both knew it.

"Peeta, I…" Katniss took a moment to calm her voice, and the sound of the door interrupted her thoughts. Prim walked out onto the balcony, leaving the door open as she wordlessly pointed inside. Katniss flinched when she heard Audrey throwing a tantrum, and looked back at Prim who was less than amused.

"I don't know what's worse." The 15 year olds voice was thick with sarcasm. "Hearing you guys in the shower this morning, or the fact that your daughter is apparently possessed." Katniss grimaced.

"Sorry Prim." She began to stand but Peeta patted her thigh.

"I got it." Katniss climbed off his lap, and watched as he walked towards where their daughter was pitching her fit. He leaned down and picked up a sobbing Audrey, who buried her face in his shirt. Peeta's eyes closed as he shushed her and swayed back in forth until Audrey finally calmed. Katniss was so entranced as she watched the pair that when Prim closed the door and turned to her she was surprised to find her sister still there. Prim crossed her arms across her chest.

"Did you tell him when you want to get married?" Katniss nodded at Prim.

"Yeah same date as I told you. But I think he wants me to see mom first." Prim snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Of course he does. He's Peeta. He knows it's time for you to do this. And you should probably get it over with anyways. You know, before you can't." Katniss sighed and flopped down into her chair, and Prim sat beside her.

"Yeah you're right. I guess it's now or never." Prim laughed at her and Katniss shoved her sister's shoulder playfully. Prim hooked her arm through Katniss' and lay her blonde head on her shoulder.

"Katniss, I love you, and I'm glad you're getting married, but if I have to hear you moaning in the shower at 5 am in the morning one more time I'm going to go and live under a bridge."

Katniss threw her head back in a sharp laugh.

"Little duck, I don't know what to tell you. We try to keep it down. You should hear us when no one is here."

Prim made an audible gagging noise, and Katniss laughed so hard she shook. As she and Prim poked fun and talked Katniss realized Peeta and her sister were right. It was time to talk to her mother, time to do something dreadful in order to make way for the coming happiness.

And so when they entered the apartment, Katniss asked Peeta for Finnik's card and made the phone call she had been putting off for a long while.


End file.
